


I eat oil paintings when security guards aren’t looking

by Neco_Ferro_ignique



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, I love this prompt, I might turn this into a series, M/M, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Security Guard Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Tumblr Prompt, kind of, meet ugly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 00:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17070488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neco_Ferro_ignique/pseuds/Neco_Ferro_ignique
Summary: “I’m sorry sir, but you have to leave or change your clothes.” Steve frowned and looked down at himself. He was wearing a simple T-Shirt with a print, a flannel and his bisexual pin. He looked at the security guy.





	I eat oil paintings when security guards aren’t looking

Steve was in a weird mood. He’d woken up feeling like something big would happen today. And as a result, he spent the rest of the day in an anxious mood. Not even his Golden Retriever Cap could calm him down, and it was basically Cap’s job to calm him down. He sighed.

“Man, what the hell’s up with you today?” Asked Sam, his best friend and kind of impulse control.

“I don’t fucking know.” Mumbled Steve. “I’ve been in a weird mood the whole day. Like something big’s gonna happen today and I have no idea what!” Sam smiled encouragingly at him.

“Don’t worry too much about it. Sometimes our brain just does shit like that.” He put an arm around Steve’s shoulder. “How about we go to the Met and spend the rest of the day looking at your favorite paintings?” Steve smiled.

“That sounds awesome! Can we go right now? Pretty please!” Sam laughed.

“Sure we can buddy. I’m done for the day and I don’t have anything else planned.”

“Thanks Sam, you’re the best!”

 

――――――――

 

An hour later they arrived at the Met. Sam smiled as he watched Steve skipping ahead. Steve was like an exited puppy when art was on his brain. He was laughing and making jokes without thinking about what other people thought of him. That was something that didn’t happen very often. His social anxiety was pretty bad, especially around strangers.

“C’mon Sammy, don’t lag behind! I wanna get inside and look at the paintings sometime today!” Sam laughed.

“I’m coming buddy. Not everybody’s as young as you are.” He said and slung an arm around Steve’s shoulder. Steve shrugged him off.

“Don’t make fun of my age, Wilson.” He said and cuffed Sam over the head. Sam smiled. “C’mon asshole, we really don’t have that much time till it closes and I wanna see at least five different paintings.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Mumbled Sam.

They both had an annual pass, so they got in without having to wait very long. They got some strange looks from the security guards but they ignored them. Steve mainly because he didn’t notice them, and Sam didn’t want to start a fight when Steve was already in a shitty mood.

But as soon as they stepped inside they got approached by a security guard. He was kinda scary looking with his black suit, his dark shoulder length hair, and the dark look in his eyes. Sam squinted and steered Steve in a different direction. Like fate was on their side for once, a large group of tourists stepped between them and the security guard. Sam took Steve’s hand in his and nearly ran into one of the exhibits.

“Sam, what the fuck are you doing?” asked Steve and wrenched his hand out of Sam’s.

“Sorry buddy! I think I saw my ex and I just really don’t wanna see them right now.” He lied, not looking at Steve’s face. He was really bad at lying, and both of them knew it.

“Uh huh. Sure. Just make some noise when you wanna tell me what’s really going on.” He said and started walking. Sam cringed. He hated lying to Steve, but that was definitely a situation where it was an appropriate reaction. As soon as Steve realized the security guy wanted to talk to them, it would be over.

They already got kicked out once because Steve couldn’t keep his mouth shut and just had to tell one of the guards that one of the artists on display was a racist asshole and their art didn’t deserve a place here. Now don’t get Sam wrong, he hated injustice as much as Steve did if not more, but that did not mean he felt the need to argue with a poor security guard that had no idea what the hell was going on. And if they got kicked out again it wouldn’t matter that Steve had a few pieces in one of the exhibits for new artistic talents. They wouldn’t be allowed in again, and this place was kind of a sanctuary for Steve even though he didn’t like to admit it.

Sam looked up. And froze. The security guard was standing next to Steve and was talking animatedly with him. Sam couldn’t see Steve’s face but his raised voice was not a good sign.

 

――――――――

 

Steve was looking at one of the sculptures. It was an abstract piece that really captured his attention. It used a lot of different materials, but didn’t seem cheap or forced together.  
Most of the time he preferred paintings and sketches, but every now and then he liked to sculpt, and he always appreciated well done sculptures.  
“Umm, sir, I’m sorry to interrupt you, but we need to talk.” Steve flinched. He hadn’t realized somebody had stepped next to him. He looked up and saw a museum security guard with beautiful facial features and even more beautiful eyes.

“Umm…” he said eloquently and looked up at the guy. “Of course, what’s up?” The guy cleared his throat and looked awkwardly at Steve.

“I’m sorry sir, but you have to leave or change your clothes.” Steve frowned and looked down at himself. He was wearing a simple T-Shirt with a print, a flannel and his bisexual pin. He looked at the security guy.

“Do you have a problem with my pin? Do you have a problem with the fact that I’m bisexual?” he asked angrily. The guy shook his head.

“NO! I just meant—“

“Cause if you do, we’re gonna have a real big problem! I’m allowed to wear whatever the fuck I want!”

“NO, seriously that’s not what I meant. I mean yo-“

“Oh, I know exactly what you mean. Guys like you always think they get away with everything like you’re some sort of god and-“

“Steve, please don’t yell at the guards!” interrupted Sam, putting his hand on Steve’s shoulder in a hopefully calming manner.

“Sam, he said I had to leave because of my pin!”

“That’s not what I meant!” the guard said loudly. “I fucking meant your T-shirt. You can’t go to a museum with a shirt that has ‘I eat oil paintings when security guards aren’t looking’ written on it!” he gestured wildly at Steve’s shirt. Steve and Sam both looked down at Steve’s shirt and like the guard said, it had ‘I eat oil paintings when security guards aren’t looking’ written on it.  
Steve slowly looked at Sam and the guard.

“Oops, I don’t remember picking that shirt. I thought I was wearing one with an inspirational quote or something.” He said and looked at them sheepishly. Sam sighed.

“Man, how can you do something that stupid? That’s basically the only shirt you can’t wear to an art museum!” he looked at the guard. “I am so sorry about all of this!” The guard smiled.

“It’s alright. That shirt put the whole security staff in a bit of a panic for a sec there. It was really amusing. I’ve never seen my boss this impressed but also weirded out by a single sentence.” He shook his head. “I still think it’s genius and I want one.” Steve smiled.

“Really? I didn’t piss you off with my rant? Which I’m very sorry about, by the way.”

“Nah, I’m bi myself and I know what it’s like with all of the prejudice and stuff. I’m glad you’re willing to stick up for it!” he said and smiled at Steve. Steve blushed.

“Thanks. It really gets hard sometimes but it’s worth it in the end. And I’m really sorry for the commotion I made. I really thought I was wearing a different shirt!” The guard laughed.

“It’s okay. You made all of us laugh there. It was great. The debate of ‘What the hell are we gonna do? We can’t just let him wander around unsupervised, but that’s not a good enough reason to send him home so…’. It was hilarious.” Steve ducked his head, smiling.

“At least you got a good laugh out of it.” He said. The guard smiled. “I’m Steve by the way. Steve Rogers.”

“James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky.” Said the guard. Steve laughed.

“What kind of name is Bucky?”

“One that I could maybe explain to you over a cup of tea or coffee? Like a date?” asked Bucky. Steve blushed and smiled.

“Sure, I would love that!” He put his hand out and Bucky took it. Together they walked to the exhibit exit, chatting.  
Sam looked after them.

“What the hell just happened?” he asked himself. He shook his head and slowly walked after them. Steve so owed him. He lost at least 5 years of his life today.

**Author's Note:**

> Phew, that was my first finished fic in english.. A big thank you to @lamellas on Tumblr. They proof read it and I'm just so thankful for that! I don't know what I would have done without them. I probably would've put it to all the other unfinished ones xD


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